Anthony Pettitte is not related to Alexander Petit the Editor-In-Chief of The Wall Streets Journal. Yes, the last names are similar but that's not how last names work. You know that.
He lives in Louisiana and likes to eat food.
Most importantly he is a contributing reporter for the Wall Streets Journal, your home for REAL fake news.
Born in the Alaskan Tundra in 1961, Todd quickly rose to fame as a world-renowned cartographer. After the death of his beloved pet caribou in 1974, he became determined to start his own website, to pay homage to all the caribou in the world that never got a chance to live out their dreams. He loves short walks on the beach, the smell of wet paper towels, and the music of Kendrick Lamar.
Most importantly he is a contributing reporter for The Wall Streets Journal, your home for REAL fake news. Secondly importantly, he runs a competing satire news site, THE Salted Pretzel, which is arguably the funniest website that is not a viable option on the Atkin's Diet.
Abel Alba is a fan of alteration, father of two and husband of one. He practices science stuff in his spare time in Long Beach, California and loves the Earth more that the average littering and polluting American.
His only real accomplishment in life is that he is a contributing reporter for The Wall Streets Journal, your home for REAL fake news.
Jack Gasper is the Grand Poobah at Ministry of Information, the #1 satire publication on Medium, of all page 3 results for "satire". If you love hard-hitting jokes paired with well-researched social opinions, then maybe you should go read a book or something.
He is an occasional contributing correspondent for Balanced and Fair News between his extensive reporting on the Middle East conflicts and the hours he spends trimming his beard to perfection.