FREMONT, MI - In a stunning press conference yesterday, Daniel Edwards Jr. the CEO of Gerber Products Company revealed that Ann Turner Cook, the famous face of the iconic baby food brand since 1926, hasn't been a fan of their product in over 90 years. The baby model was once famous among in country's infant population for not only her face, but her notorious and voracious appetite for Gerber.
Ninety one years later, Edwards spoke to a shocked audience of reporters, "Mrs. Cook, a long time member of the Gerber family, hasn't actually been a consumer of our products in quite some time. In fact, Calvin Coolidge was the President of the United States the last time Mrs. Cook had a bit of our pureed peas. We understand for the better part of the last century we have been misleading consumers into thinking that Mrs. Cook, now a retired school teacher and mystery novelist, was actually still a baby who enjoys Gerber products like any toddler would. This is not the case and we apologize deeply for those misleading claims."
"I always thought that the baby food I was buying was endorsed by a real life baby. I feel betrayed," said Melissa Smith, a mother of three, "When I was a baby eating Gerber I looked into those baby's eyes and saw honesty, I did so as a mother too, knowing that the baby on the label, whoever she was, wherever she was, was fundamentally still a baby."
Going forward, the company has promised to use real babies in their advertising campaigns, not elderly women who just so happened to look good around the Great Depression. In a surprising revelation, Gerber announced that Mrs. Cook will be the face of their new line of products aimed at the elderly, consisting of pureed peas, mashed carrots and other relabeled baby foods.