UNITED STATES - The US Government is in the midst of the longest shutdown in the history of the country and to be honest, it's just what it needed. Two hundred and forty two years without a month long vacation can be stressful for even the world's greatest superpower.
"I mean, this is just the break I needed," said the Government, "I mean I had a nice breather under Obama for a minute and that long one with Clinton, but I gotta give it to Trump, I haven't had this much time off since the Revolutionary War."
The Government had not expected the vacation to last this long and is reportedly running out of ideas for what to do.
"A trip to a National Park seemed like a good idea, but then I remembered, oh yeah, that's off the table, then I thought a nice trip, but yeah, the TSA strike... I just can't stand how much everyone depends on me!"
Vacation aside, the Government is actually looking forward to working again so that democracy can prevail and people can actually get the services they rely on, even if the shutdown was a nice little break from the every day hassles of being the greatest country on the planet.
When asked about President Trump's proposed wall with Mexico, the Government said, "I'm not a fan, I think a 1,954 miles of wall would probably make my southern border look bigger than it is... and you know what they say, everything is bigger in Texas already."
Updated: Mar 17, 2021
WASHINGTON D.C - A nervous President Trump was seen pacing the Oval Office early Wednesday morning frantically refreshing the "We The People Will Fund The Wall" GoFundMe page hoping to see something other than an amount less than 0.4% of the needed funds for the proposed border wall between the United States and Mexico.
Sources close to the Commander in Chief have said that the President may have made a mistake putting all of his faith in the GoFundMe page to come through when Congress wouldn't.
Trump briefly considered paying for the wall from his personal fortune of 10 billion dollars then remembered he was worth much less than that and had been lying about his net worth for decades.
At the time of press the President was also in the midst of creating a Kickstarter campaign to start paying the Coast Guard and TSA as well as reopen all the National Parks.
