Last Ounce Of Toothpaste Proud To Last Nine Times As Long As The Rest Of The Tube

SAN DIEGO, CA - Defying all logic and practical sense, a local tube of toothpaste was about to last the user an impressive ten weeks. What's really shocking is that the first 90 percent of the tube was squeezed out liberally onto the user's toothbrush and was gone within the first eight days.

Miraculously, the remaining ten percent of toothpaste lasted an impressive and record setting nine weeks through the user's slow and precise ration procedures.

"Look I get that I was a little heavy handed at first, don't get me wrong, but I really managed to make the rest last, and boy did I. My dentist didn't even complain when I went in for the last check up, despite having used the same string of floss for the last three weeks," said Pat Steintube who managed to get so much out of so little.

Dental hygiene aside, the local man has said to use the same techniques for shampoo, lotion, salsa, butter, milk and shredded cheese. When asked why he didn't just ration the entire tube that way Steintube couldn't reply because his mouth was full of half a bottle's worth of mouthwash.