John Kelley Loses Life Savings On Sure Thing Bet That Rod Rosenstein Would Resign Before Nikki Haley

WASHINGTON D.C. - Current Chief of Staff to President Trump, General John Kelly cursed at the Fox News headlined displayed before him which read, UN AMBASSADOR NIKKI HALEY TO RESIGN, blowing what would be a sure bet that he had on Rod Rosenstein to be the next member of the Trump team to leave in disgrace.

"Good God..." muttered the former General. "I thought this... this was a sure thing. I placed it all on this. Christ, what am I going to tell Karen?"

Thinking it was a sure thing that Rosenstein was next to go, the former Marine reportedly put his life savings on the line to bet that either Sessions or his deputy would be the next to go. Seeing the news about Haley caused the usually composed and decorated war hero to slump against a wall and slide down until he sat on the floor, legs splayed out, with his head hung in defeat.

"I'm ruined," he muttered, knowing full well he would have to work for Trump for the rest of his life. Reports indicated he was last seen heading to Robert Mueller's office mumbling under his breath about a plea deal.