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Area Man Who Turned 30 Is Too Oblivious To Realize He Should Be Having Well Warranted Midlife Crisis

SAN DIEGO, CA - Local San Diego resident, Alex Petit, turned 30 last week causing the millennial to say goodbye to his twenties and hello to the decade of his life most agree is where a majority of life decisions are made.

Yet, as he stepped into his thirties, in a job he doesn't particularly love, with no semblance of a relationship in sight and financials worse than that of a K-Mart across the street from a Target, he made no changes now that he is that much closer to death.

Quite against all logic, he just decided to march on with life just like he did in his twenties, without a care in the world.

"Honestly, I would be super concerned with my life if I turned thirty and I was in that guy's shoes. His life is a goddamn mess," said his close friend, Raymond Cowell, "Ticking time bomb if you ask me."

Despite crippling debt, little to no successes in the last year, and a penchant for coming in last when it matters most, Petit was reportedly still optimistic at the time of press for reasons beyond most critical thinkers.

And so the clock ticks on, waiting for the cruel realization that awaits the feeble minded salesman... when that day finally comes, he'll realize the cards he has been dealt and break down accordingly.

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