USPS Debuts New Slogan: 12 Packages, 12 Deliveries, One Suspect, One Carrier, US Postal Service

WASHINGTON D.C. - The United States Postal Service decided to make the best of a bad situation and try to spin the news that a domestic terrorist used the service to mail a dozen homemade bombs to Democratic political icons.

Focuses on the positive they point out that all the packages got to there destination on time and for only three dollars each.

"Frankly, the USPS is proud to be the first choice of anyone who has to send a package that absolutely has to be there on time," said the Postmaster General, "When it matters as much as this, we are the only carrier to trust."