Anxious Trump Was Sure That GoFundMe For The Wall Would Have Hit 5 Billion By Now, Ending Shutdown
WASHINGTON D.C - A nervous President Trump was seen pacing the Oval Office early Wednesday morning frantically refreshing the "We The People Will Fund The Wall" GoFundMe page hoping to see something other than an amount less than 0.4% of the needed funds for the proposed border wall between the United States and Mexico.
Sources close to the Commander in Chief have said that the President may have made a mistake putting all of his faith in the GoFundMe page to come through when Congress wouldn't.
Trump briefly considered paying for the wall from his personal fortune of 10 billion dollars then remembered he was worth much less than that and had been lying about his net worth for decades.
At the time of press the President was also in the midst of creating a Kickstarter campaign to start paying the Coast Guard and TSA as well as reopen all the National Parks.