Area Man Who Owns Nine Swords Can't Understand Why He Is Single

SAN DIEGO, CA - Local 32 year old, Damien Harrison, online screenname "xXxStudyTheBladexXx" is puzzled by his current relationship status. The local man, who owns nine totally badass swords, is at a loss for reasoning as to why he can't garner the interest of a damsel to save.


Included in his collection is none other than a replica of the Mystical Blade of the Elders, The Orc Slayer, The End Times Scimitar, and the famed Master Sword from The Legend Of Zelda video games series.



"I have spent years studying the blade, I can protect any lady that chooses to procreate with my superior genes," said Harrison, who was wearing a floor length black leather duster at time of print.


"Honestly, I have no idea how I can be more appealing," queried the local man while stroking his patchy neckbeard, "Maybe I need Cloud's sword, or that giant key from Kingdom hearts, females love Kingdom Hearts."

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